Over the weekend, I was up near Duluth for my cousin’s wedding. I’ve dubbed it “the most redneck wedding I’ve ever attended.”

I should have known when I had to drive 20 miles out in the middle of nowhere just to get to the grooms’ parents house where the ceremonies and reception were being held. I was running a little late and as such, arrived just in time to see the groomsmen helping their ladies off the ATV’s they rode up on. 4-Wheelers!

During one of the several country ballads played during the ceremony, I realized that the groomsmens’ vests were camo. Not like army camo, more like the type you’d see on a hunting vest. Fitting. To compliment their “rustic” (read: tacky) vests, they couldn’t be seen wearing the traditional corsage. Instead, it was what looked like a felt deer head. I didn’t bother to investigate any further, but the redneck theme didn’t stop there, oh no, not by a long shot. After a short ceremony, the bride (my cousin), made an announcement. “Please take your chairs with you into the polebarn for the reception.” That’s the first time I’ve had to do manual labor for a wedding that I was a guest at.

After getting into the polebar and sitting down, I noticed an abnormal amount of denim being worn in the crowd. There were also a few cowboy hats.

Aside from the ridiculousness of the situation, the food was pretty good. That was, until I saw the cake topped with pinecones. There were also a number of coolers set up, most of which contained beer. The beer to other beverage ratio was about 1:1.

The icing on the cake, though, was when my cousin, called all the “Cooke boys,” referring to her new brothers-in-law, into the barn and proclaimed she was now one of the family by downing an “Old Style.”

I’m not sure when my cousin became such a hick. I never remember her being that way when we were growing up. I guess all that matters is that she’s happy with her new husband.